What is a serial cheater

A true narcissist will display signs of pathological selfishness, if you notice intense selfishness at the start of any relationship, beware! Narcissistic signs related to cheating would be; flirting and not caring how you feel about it, meeting an ex-partner for coffee and not feeling the need to tell you, cheating on you once and saying its your fault and taking no responsibility of their own. These are just a few examples.

These cheaters just want to get the high of dopamine flooding their brain regardless of the consequences. This was shown in a USA study that had volunteers found out that 50 percent of the participants with a long allele variant of the D4 dopamine receptor gene had been cheaters, compared to only 22 percent of the participants who had the short allele. Closely linked to narcissism as one of the signs of cheating however there is a difference.

With narcissism the entitlement is instant, they have and always will feel entitled to anything they want. With a serial cheater who might not be a textbook narcissist, they will create a sense of entitlement specific to frequent cheating. They have rationalized and justified their reasons for cheating and if they are ever questioned about why they have cheated in the past you will only hear all the reasons why they did it and that they were justified to do so.

They cant be a cheater and not a liar but a liar is not always a cheater. Frequency and the depth of the lie is the key difference. Maybe he does care about you, but what do you deserve?

How would someone with a compulsive sexuality disorder even know they have a problem? This is one of the serial cheater traits that needs professional assistance due to its addiction relation.

Really the bottom line comes down to 3 Choices. Great question. May I share some life-changing advice? It starts with you. I came across this affair recovery ebook written by a professional marriage therapist.

I can honestly tell you his advice saved me. No, the pain does not completely go away about what my serial cheater wife did, but the book helped me take control of my life.

I have since started a new career, have traveled and find ways to reward myself every day. And the book can advise you some of the best ways to increase the chances to get your husband or wife to work with you to save your marriage. His team emailed me a copy to review. Most of the book is spot on with how I feel as a man whose wife cheated on him.

Kevin's thorough research and personal interviews with marriage therapists and psychologists provide his broken-heart readers with hope. Click here to read the review of Kevin Jackson's book. Watch this short 3 minute video that helps other betrayed spouses turn around their marriage fast, stop feeling hopeless and start feeling good again. Learn how to turn around your marriage within the next 2 day s. You just need hope. Hope of a new future.

Hope for something good to happen. If you choose to move on like I have. Then you must take action to restore your happiness. You will find love again, but first do what I did.

Fix your own pain and change the way you see relationships. The affair recovery ebook is about fixing your first regardless what your potential serial cheater spouse does. I would highly recommend giving it a try. Before you go check out the free healing gift I created for you below. If you want the truth and you feel you can handle it then it's time you catch them.

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Tags: cheating addiction cheating husbands cheating wives compulsive sexuality habitual cheater lack of empathy low self esteem narcissism repeat cheater risk taker serial cheater serial cheater profile serial cheater traits sexual compulsion sociopath thrill seeker. The thing that scares me most is, he is in a position of power in his career.

The women he has cheated with are flat out gold diggers, but he thinks they had an honest interest in him. He is not particularly handsome and he is horribly out of shape, but he makes a very good income and has a high social status because of his career, and so there will always be some woman wanting to get a piece of that.

When a woman loves you,she loves for real and its always quite obvious. Restraining her mobile from my reach which made me more suspicious. I found out that she was not over her ex and they still see each other whenever i travel for contract jobs overseas. Regardless of the fact that i pay the bills and if i lose my life today she dies rich. Nobody deserves a liar as a partner.

Having been on both sides of this i think the author is correct on most points. Some cheaters do recover to be faithfull partners and learn better coping skills.

You can only helo or save yourself and that means not allowing yourself to be abused, manipulsted or taken for granted by someonecwhi would risk hurting you like that. Maybe it was my oenence to be on the other end later in life, i get it completely now and derply apologize to thosr i did hurt before i addressed my own isdues.

Mike I apologize for the late reply. I was beginning to think that there was something wrong with my comments system. Thank you for sharing. I recently created a new post specifically for betrayed husbands dealing with serial cheating wives. Thank you for taking responsibility for the issues that you believe propelled you to cheat. Most people who cheat do not intend to hurt others, as crazy as that sounds.

Instead they justify their actions and do not see that they have a problem with deep voids in their own lives. Secretive, in my experience married to a serial cheater, is one of the most toxic people […]. Will that stop him from cheating yet again? Will he stop his serial cheater ways? Not if that he has unsettled issues that he cannot […]. Low self esteem is one of the 9 serial cheater profile traits from my main […].

Lack of empathy is one of the 9 serial cheater profile traits from my main […]. Risk taker is one of the 9 serial cheater profile traits from my main […].

Fear of intimacy is one of the 9 serial cheater profile traits from my main […]. This either raises a red flag or a character flaw or he just slipped up this one time. Or they think they can get away with breaking some rules, even in marriage. But a lot of men are too, even though they may seem simple. His ego tells him he should always come first. When he feels his needs are not given priority, he looks for someone or becomes vulnerable to someone who will give him just that.

More From Thought Catalog. Why Men Cheat. Get our newsletter every Friday! Or, if he does, he may not continue. These traits just make him more than likely to have affairs and continue having them. But, in terms of staying or going, I believe that the above knowledge coupled with what your gut tells you to do can help you make the decision. Leaving a marriage, no matter what the circumstance, is very difficult. However, it might provide at least some cold comfort to know the nature of what you are dealing with so that you can leave with a little confidence that you are taking the right steps.

Still, only you know what is right for you to do. So learn as much as can in order to make an informed decision and follow that path that feels most right to you. Oh, no! I have four of these traits, but at a very low level. I imagine all of us have a least one. A colossal waste of time. I am an introvert, not really concerned with appearances, grew up with many positive marriage role models, dislike talking on the phone or texting, emailing a lot.

Interesting to see what people come up with. I dont hsve really close friends and am mostly interested in whoever is around me at the time. Like when I find an old friend on facebook, I enjoy catching up a bit and seeing their posts, etc. Is anyone else like that.? Hi Gizfield, yes there are other introverts out there.

I catch up with friends rarely, and just pick up where we left off when we do meet. Lynsey, I totally agree. Always trying to be entertaining, engaged, funny, etc. And I dont mean that in a bad way. Someone who knows who you are and likes who you are.

Just found some interesting information in a study done by the University of Guelph. Here are some quotes from an article I found on Science Daily:. This research shows that demographic variables may not influence decision-making as much as previously thought — that personality matters more, especially for men. All kinds of things predict infidelity. What this study says is that when you put all of those things together, for men, personality characteristics are so strong they bounce everything else out of the model.

Their study also found that men and women cheat in about equal numbers. Finally, they ended with the same caveat I had— that there are so many complex factors that could occur to add to infidelity that are outside of the scope of these characteristics or studies about characteristics. Also, my two cents on your own traits that correlate with the list.

Like you said, it is possible that all of us have at least one. I believe that a person could have almost all of the traits on the list and still not end up cheating. So, if someone has almost one of these traits, but at a very low level, and if he makes a very conscious effort NOT to allow these traits to rule his life or take over his better judgement, then he might not cheat.

On the other hand, if there is another person who has no boundaries in his or her behavior and then has most of these traits and then allows these traits to take over his personality, then he is going to be highly likely to cheat.

I would not have guessed that and have not found it in prior literature. I saw the other day that Craigslist love affair said sex with her affair partner was terrible. Same here. I only slept with my affair partner once during our affair, but our sexual history was long and pathetic. He was my high school bf, we sleep slept together when I was 16, off and on til about I had very little outside experience, but always suspected he was not very good in bed, and I was right.

My first husband was excellent sexually, yet I cheated on him with mr. Sexual Dud. I guess these guys cheat to prove they can, especially since they are sorry lovers a lot of the time. By the way, and earlier comment you made struck a chord with me and a light-bulb went on in my head. You mentioned in your comment earlier that when your H cheated on you, you felt like you had to be engaging, funny, and entertaining and act like someone you were not. A lightbulb went on in my head because I was able to put into perspective something my ex-fiance did when he was cheating on me.

Of course, at the time I did not know he was cheating on me— in fact, I had to hear it from a third party 6 weeks after he broke up with me and I had moved out.

Anyhow, during the time he was cheating on me, I remember that he would make random comments about how I was not the life of the party and how that was a bad thing. He would mock my introversion and then give examples of extroverted women he admired. When you said you felt like you had to be someone that you were not when your H cheated, I remembered how my fiance was trying to get me to be a more boisterous and socially aggressive person.

I have observed that when men have affairs, they start to find flaws in the partners personalities to feel better. Prior to getting married to my husband, I let him know point blank that the person he was getting is not someone he can train to be a certain way as if I were a pet. Now, my husband did not make me feel that way— it was my ex fiance who did.

And I told him I felt the same way about him. I accepted who he was, good parts and annoying parts. That is the only way to be since trying to fix someone ultimately ends in frustration and bitterness. PS- I would be curious to see what Doug and Linda have to say about traits that make a person less likely to cheat.

PPS- Hey Gizfield, introversion is great and introverts play a wonderful role in society! Sounds like a lot of what you are describing about yourself is standard introversion, which is a very valuable characteristic.

They are the ones who prefer listening to speaking; who innovate and create but dislike self-promotion; who favor working on their own over working in teams. It is to introverts—Rosa Parks, Chopin, Dr. Seuss, Steve Wozniak—that we owe many of the great contributions to society. In Quiet, Susan Cain argues that we dramatically undervalue introverts and shows how much we lose in doing so. The rarest of personalities.

Oh lucky me! Meant with all sarcasm. I like hanging out with myself a lot too. I also keep A LOT close to my chest. I like people but I need my space. Nor do I need them to know everything about me.

I will say I have highly correct intuition about people and situations which has never proven me wrong. So you have a fellow introvert here on EAJ as well as a southerner. I wish HR honchos had to read it. In the world we now live in I believe introversion is looked at as being a little peculiar. Oh well. Hah- I have found that HR honchos rarely read or consider anything that is truly useful.

Or at least that was the case in the information technology industry. Complete opposite of myself… Well, that was the guy who ended up cheating and then I left for good. Definitely for the best. I see that introverts are beginning to be valued more and for MANY good reasons. In the past we were definitely labeled as peculiar, eccentric, strange, non-social, etc etc. Now books like Quiet are coming out and I have noticed that companies are starting to specifically look for qualities that are most commonly found in introverts.

Only no one will know it! I have much the same personality traits as Giz and was a CS. One was my childhood sweetheart. Although he did open the gates to my longer, more significant AP.

Its still cheating, of course but marriage makes all the difference to me. Good job. I made myself nuts during the aftermath trying to answer the whys, not to mention making my H nuts withe the same. What it boils down to is opportunity, lack of personal moral code, and a great talent for lies, manipulation and entitlement. Trust in your spouse may be important but that paradigm is forever altered and is unreal.

More important is to trust ourselves and be aware. For example, no opposite-sex friendships for your husband. Especially no opposite-sex friendships with co-workers. People can go into the friendship with the best of intentions, there can be no attraction at first , but then as the friendship progresses, things can quickly get out of control if given the right circumstances..

I have this rule in my own marriage, for both of us. Some of them are truly relentless and have no shame and do not even try to hide their intentions. In fact, in the past few months, I am still having to put up boundaries with one of his female co-workers because she will not give up. And you might say its up to my husband to put up boundaries— well he does and I have even been present at his work when he does. So, after he started putting up boundaries, she started emailing me and begging for us to come to her house to dinner.

Each time she says that, I suggest a one-to-one coffee for just us girls and suggest a time. And each time I do that, she never answers me back but then starts in on my husband again.

Then he sets a boundary and she emails me again…and on and on. I will never understand this, for many reasons, but knowing it exists, I am pro-active. Do any of you ladies have any advice on what I can do to up the ante with this female co-worker who will not go away? It would appear that she is a full-blown narcissist, by the way.

Well, if any of you have advice on what me or my husband could do to get her to go away, let me know. I am at a loss. Well since I work with him in the same office at our business there is no room for any kind of office romance—except with me of course!! Yep he was stupid enough to invite the camel into the tent. He was way to friendly and was just lapping up all the attention with their seeking him out for his business acumen. We had a huge heated discussion and I very firmly pointed out how his demeanor sends the wrong message to females.

I heard the conversation and I knew it was flattering bullshit coming from the other end of the line. I heard his fake laugh and I swear my hair caught fire. I actually had to leave the office for a while but not before shooting the evil eye to him.

He knew exactly what I was mad about and what he had done. But I think this charming behavior has been going on for a long time with female vendors or customers. This is the first time in a very long time we have worked together where he has actually given me the authority I had previously demanded.

I hate to say it, but with my H I have to be very firm with no chance of ambiguity on my part. We discussed this with the MC and she agreed. Sure he likes being perceived as Mr. Nice Guy but more so he likes the attention and flattery from the OW. LOL I hired a woman who tried a little too hard to impress my H. She turned on the charm with him, complimenting him on his clothes, making up meetings she had to have with him about FILING???

Yeah well she was fired after oh about 6 months. Loved doing it. She cried on her way out! So yeah my intuition is on overdrive. Never going to mistrust my own gut over trusting someone else. I think everyone here has given you great advice Sarah. I will say your H needs to totally ignore her. No unnecessary contact and that includes you too, although I subscribe to keep you friends close, keep your enemies closer.

They only thing I would add is, take the bitch back to the parking lot and beat the crap out of her!!! So, my husband is charming like that, but with everyone, even if they are year-old men who are wheelchair bound. But, it is sincere on his part. He has a lot of natural compassion for people, no matter who they are. We had to have a talk early on about how women can perceive his niceness. He has reeled it in a lot over the years in terms of being more cautious around women.

But, he is still a naturally likable guy and many women misread it. I do not know how you held out 6 months. I think I would have been very upset from the get-go as soon as I saw that happening. You held yourself very well. These women are a standard archetype in the daytime soap operas, but one just does not expect to see such obvious examples in real life. I would have been livid. By the way, my best friend of thirty years said the same thing about taking the B out to the parking lot to settle it once and for all.

I have always told my h, watch how he talks to women, because they can take it as if he is interested in them. He never really believed it, I guess until now.

I believe he is now more open to not trusting anyone anymore. He knows that most are only after what they can. Have to weigh in on this string bc I have the exact same problem. The other ones he keeps for himself. Curious to see any other comments people post about a solution. Your husband should go to hr and find out what rules of engagement exist in his workplace. At least there would be a record in her file.

This may be a pattern of hers. He should beat her to the chase. Hi Jeddy, Good point— now I need to convince my husband to stop being a people pleaser and fearing offending everyone. Knowing him, he would be afraid to go to HR because he did not want to cause a fuss and would be too embarrassed. I have thought long and hard about if he may have engaged in some kind of affair with her EA or SA or both. I have thought about how he might have gone about it if he had wanted to, and I am coming up blank.

He works one solid shift and leaves at the same time in the morning and comes home at the same time of day. If I call him o text him at work, he answers. He works in an environment where everyone works in a large room that is full of computers and everyone is always around the other.

There is really no room for getting to know someone one-on-one. No business lunches since there is no lunch break.

He does not travel without me and never has. This lady who is chasing him has lived with a guy for 10 years and the guy will not marry her. On the other hand, stranger things have happened and i realize that. I have been on high alert for signs but have found none. Still, I would like for this lady to chill out and back off. But still it is unnerving!! I spent a year being told the problems in our marriage were due to me, so I tried to fix me.

I was humiliated at family functions she attended. I was not able to make decisions about my life or marriage since I was kept in the dark about the third person in the relationship. I would have grabbed that damn phone locked myself in the bathroom and read everything whether he called me crazy or not, and then I would have given him 5 min to leave.

He told the ow about those too. I had to bawl my eyes out at the gyno explaining why I needed std testing — no good reason to believe this was ea not pa. Every cheater thinks they are the one who can have an affair with no repercussion or fallout or collateral damage. Boy what I would do to turn back the clock and call him on the carpet the first day my spidey senses tingled, which was over a year ago.

But since he was too chicken to man up and put his family first and deal with his mess as soon as he knew it was a mess, here I am. Knowing that my emotional safety, sense of security and general well-being were put last without my knowledge has altered me. It also kept me from being the best mother I could be for my kids. She would whimper to men flirting about how having a husband and four boys was too much men.

This was not her first rodeo. Women and men need to be called out when they behave unprofessionally. They survive and thrive when no one shuts the behavior down. My kids will be taught what an older female colleague told me: When a man at work complains about his marriage, tell him he should be having this conversation with his wife, then walk away.

The garden you tend will be the one that grows. The other things learned thru this is that these are not strong women and men. They are the weak injured idiots at the back of the pack, waiting to be be taken down.

Strong, confident folks? Front of the pack leading lives with integrity, not anywhere near those maimed creatures. I would rather have been labeled bat shit crazy a year ago than experiencing my life now.

I tip toed for a long time — who wants to be the accusing untrusting wife? Wow, Jeddy, Yes, I am glad that I asked because your answer provides insight on many levels. I am also truly sorry that you are having to live through such pain. I just pray that you have some support when you arrive in your new town.

This is just too much to deal with alone. But, I am glad you are standing up for yourself by removing yourself from the situation. Once you are gone, he your h is going to feel like he was hit by a ton of bricks and then run over by several monster trucks. He is going to find out what it means to try to rely on someone who is only a mirage— a temporary mingling of smoke and mirrors.

I am angered that your in-laws treat you badly and that the OW is even seen at family functions. That is so wrong on many levels. I am also angered that your body literally had to get that sick and he still would not come clean when he saw you vomiting your guts out. All of that is so unfair. Your story is such a testament to the devastation that affairs cause for all the innocent bystanders who did nothing wrong. I hope and pray that you find peace soon as well as a loving support system.

As for your older female colleague and her recommendations, she is right and it has always been my attitude, even prior to being married. In fact, something interesting happened yesterday that made me realize no one would be having affairs if everyone refused to take potential bait. I was at a large, indoor play center with my youngest. He has always kind of been a flirt when I take my youngest to see him, even though he is married. He was smiling and making small talk and invading my personal space.

I bet she is lovely and I would like to say hello. She is, by the way, a lovely woman and cute as a button. After that conversation, I found my child and we ran around the play area together. Anyhow, this is how I have always been around men, even when I was single. But, ever since I married, I do not flirt with anyone taken or single because it is a violation to my marriage.

Anyone else out there have ideals similar to these and stick to them in all situations?